Nicky Anosike has always shared her life story.

Emerging from poverty to become a Lady Vol basketball player and graduating in four years with three degrees in criminal justice, political science and legal studies.

Being drafted into the WNBA and thriving in her professional career stateside and overseas.

Becoming a teacher in Florida for a neglected middle school, graduate assistant at Tennessee for another degree and then a high school coach in Anderson County.

Enduring a pregnancy with twins that left her hospitalized for weeks to ensure their safety after being told – and refusing – to terminate one child to save the life of another.

Nicky Anosike and her twins at a Smokies baseball game in 2024. (Maria M. Cornelius)

The three-year-old twins, Cheluchi and Chiemezie, are thriving now. Their nicknames are Luchi and Mez.

Anosike trains young players and works for Girls Inc. of the Tennessee Valley as an athletics director to pour into underserved youth. The nonprofit’s mission is to inspire all girls to be strong, smart and bold. While she embodies those qualities, Anosike said she now feels “a responsibility to emphasize that as girls and women we don’t have to be those things by ourselves.”

Luchi and Mez explore their mother’s classroom during setup in 2022 when she taught youth about the late Pat Summitt.

Her life story took a brutal turn in late summer when she miscarried nearly 6,000 miles from home while traveling for the funeral of her mother-in-law.

It had been a journey to even get pregnant. The birth of the twins had taken a toll on her body, and Anosike had three surgeries to be able to conceive again. When the pregnancy test came back positive in late spring, Anosike was thrilled.

But on Aug. 22, she went into labor while in Nigeria and was taken to a hospital that was ill-equipped to handle the emergency. Anosike, soaked in her own blood, sobbed in a room of the makeshift healthcare clinic. The baby was in the birth canal but had no heartbeat. A devastated Anosike flew home a few days later still in shock.

She reached out to this writer for three reasons.

One, Anosike wanted to know that she was not alone, and “I wanted other women to know that they are not alone.”

Since the death of her child, the Lady Vol family, some of whom have experienced similar losses, have showered Anosike with love and support. She wanted to extend that support and “hopefully encourage other women not to be ashamed to share their stories.” If anyone would like to share stories or resources that helped, Anosike asked to be emailed at anosikenko@gmail.com. She also has started counseling.

“We don’t have to suffer in silence,” Anosike said.

Second, she wanted to share her story, so others would know that women can lose their babies for various reasons and to not judge them. Anosike is pro-life – she would not terminate one of her boys as advised – but she also is an advocate for women, who shouldn’t be a target in a heated political climate but “should be given the care they need while being treated with compassion, respect and dignity.” She noted that she “experienced the complete opposite” during her miscarriage in a developing country.

Third, she wanted to open her heart and write a letter to the baby that she would never hold.

To My Baby,

You will always be loved, and you will never be forgotten. I have not been able to stop thinking about you since you passed. I didn’t get to hold you in my arms, but our time together filled me with the type of joy that only new life can bring. Losing you has overwhelmed me with the type of grief that feels impossible to handle. Will I ever get past this pain? I rubbed you, I spoke to you, I prayed for you, I wanted you.

After 18 months of trying and three operations, you were conceived. A true miracle baby. A sign from heaven that hope was not lost. I dreamt about your older brothers fighting over who would get to hold you first. I laughed about the cute nickname they would give you as they struggled to pronounce your real name. I longed for the day the whole house would be whipped into a frenzy as we rushed to the hospital to meet you for the first time. Instead, we rushed to the hospital six months too early.

I never got to lay my eyes on you, hold your hand or kiss you. You deserved so much more. You deserved to feel safe in your mama’s arms. You deserved to be comforted and soothed from your fears. You deserved to be brought into a kind and loving family.

As your mom, I did not provide you with all that you deserve, and that is so difficult for me to accept. I wanted to give you the world, but instead I give you my word that your life will be spoken about, your life will be celebrated, and your life will be remembered. There is no shame, we have nothing to be ashamed of. I am proud of you, and I am honored to have carried you in my womb. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to call you, my child. More importantly, I am forever grateful to God for giving me such a genuine and beautiful gift, even if it was just for a little while.

Love you forever,
Mom