The silence is deafening for Amanda Gouldie. She is now walking down a new road into a new life. “Our core is gone” is how she describes it. Just 33 days ago she buried the man of her dreams. “But I feel his presence every moment of every day.”

On Christmas Day 2023, Grant Gouldie began having excruciating stomach pain. A few days later he was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. And on November 21, 2024, he was buried after a celebration of his life was made so special by family, his colleagues with the Tennessee Highway Patrol, our law enforcement community and his legions of friends.

Amanda held him in her arms as he passed from this life on Saturday, November 16, in his “man cave” recliner at their home in Halls. With her were his parents and his sister. It was 5:15 p.m. And now Amanda and the three children sit and hold each other in that man cave every evening before going to bed. They pray together, they talk with Grant and tell him about their day and their love for him.

Ava is 15, Maelynn is 9 and Jaxon is 5. When you look at Jaxon you see his dad. “He not only looks just like Grant, he’s just like his daddy too and I love it sooooo much,” Amanda says. “But he does not understand what has happened, not yet. Ava is struggling with anxiety much like I do and Maelynn shut down the first couple of weeks.”

The Gouldie family — Grant and Amanda with Ava, 15, Maelynn, 9, and Jaxon, 5 — taken earlier this year.

And in two days she and the children will spend their first Christmas without him, the first of many firsts to come – birthdays, anniversaries, special holidays, the kids’ birthdays, watching them grow up, graduations, games and many more.

If you read our Our Town Heroes stories each Monday, you may recall the one about the 6-8, 32-year-old THP trooper published on Aug. 22, 2022 – Big Man for a Big Job. Here is the Grant Gouldie story.

Today is a first in the six years of writing about Our Town Heroes. Amanda, 33, is our first spouse to be featured as an Our Town Hero as the widow of a not-to-be-forgotten THP first-responder hero. Her life has changed, never to be the same again. It’s a job for a Hero.

The diagnosis was shocking but not surprising. Grant’s father, Dale, of Lake City, survived colon cancer four times and is now a retired pediatric nurse practitioner. Lynch Syndrome runs in the Gouldie family. It is a hereditary genetic disorder that increases the risk of developing certain types of cancer, particularly colorectal cancer. Doctors discovered a very large and very aggressive stage 4 tumor in Gouldie’s colon and gave him a year to live. He wanted a second opinion and got one at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, and he was given less time to live. Amanda says their prediction turned out to be the right one.

Amanda Whitehead Gouldie was reared in Maryville and graduated from Maryville High School in 2008. While working at DENSO, she met this big tall guy at a bar on the UT Strip. She then tracked him down on Facebook and sent him a friend request. He accepted. They got together with friends and then he asked her out on a date. “He picked me up on his motorcycle and we rode on the Foothills Parkway. I instantly knew there was something special about him and three months later he proposed,” she says. “Since I turned 20 Grant was my everything, every day. My rock. Now I have to think about what’s next.”

And what about her future and what’s next? “I’ve got to figure that out. Grant was the breadwinner of course. But I’ve got a mortgage to pay and raise the kids and I have to make a living for us. I do not like to rely on others. I’m very independent,” she explained. “I have to stay healthy for me and the kids’ sake and make sure they stay healthy too.”

Until recently she worked as a part-time teaching assistant at Beaver Dam Baptist Church’s pre-school program. The Gouldies attend Salem Baptist Church and Amanda is hoping to join the church choir in early 2025. She also has been working on earning an associate degree (AA) in the nursing program at Roane State Community College. In January she will resume classes to get her nursing degree and become a registered nurse. “I have got to find a job and get everything on track for us.”

She knows hurdles await, some known and others unknown. Going back to school, working, raising the kids, managing the household, finding babysitters when necessary and who knows what else await. And coping with everything that has happened in the last 12 months.

“It’s been such a shockwave that went through the house, not having his presence and comfort and love and his nurturing ways here. He’s just gone. He was the core of our family. It’s hard to be here without him,” Amanda said. “But he’s in Heaven and not suffering any longer and he was in so much pain that it was awful to watch, especially near the end. But I can’t be alone at the house. I wear headphones and listen to music and try to stay busy. I go work out a bunch and run and look for ways to cope. I just can’t stand the silence.”

Amanda has a strong support system. Major support comes from two people – THP Dist. 1 Capt. Stacey Heatherly and her husband, Trooper Michael Heatherly. The two youngest Gouldie children spend time at their Campbell County farm and call the Heatherlys “DiDi” and “Pops” – making reference to them as being a set of grandparents.

Stacey and Amanda have grown closer throughout Grant’s illness. “Amanda’s unwavering devotion to Grant and their family during such a difficult time has been so inspiring,” Stacey says. “Her strength, love and selflessness in ensuring both Grant’s needs were met and their children’s bond with their father will always remain strong is a testament to the power of faith and love in the face of hardship. Amanda and those kids are very dear to me. We have basically adopted them.”

Trooper Robert Simpson and Trooper Gouldie were best friends. Simpson was one of the speakers at his service. Gouldie was Simpson’s field training officer and their tight friendship grew out of that experience.

They enjoyed just “hanging out” and shared the same types of humor, harassing one another at every opportunity, going to the range and shooting together and their children became best friends and enjoyed sleepovers.

This past Friday, Simpson led a group of friends in a Christmas convoy to the Gouldies’ home to drop off a load of gifts for the family. Simpson also is available for whatever Amanda needs done around the house. Trooper Clint McKissick helps, along with retired Trooper Rick Woodward. Amanda’s parents, Scott and Linda Whitehead, and Grant’s parents, Dale and Susie, are part of the support team along with neighbors, friends and a few more THP families.

This new road she’s walking down is a long one and a tough one. Her God and her faith are with her and she is comforted by that knowledge.

Amanda’s spirit, grit and determination are central to who she is. And her final comment about walking down this new road will not surprise anyone who knows her: “… We are going to make it out of this! Just watch.”

If you would like to be part of the support team, there is an active GoFundMe page for donations to help Amanda and the family with their financial challenges. Here is the LINK to that page: Gouldie GoFundMe. Donations to date total approximately $20,500.

Tom King has been the editor of newspapers in Texas and California and also worked in Tennessee and Georgia. If you have someone you think we should consider featuring, please email him at the link with his name or text him at 865-659-3562.

Our Town Hero is sponsored by Aubrey’s Restaurants.