Dan and I spent last week on quirky, small Tybee Island. We enjoy the off-season when often all you see on the beach are seagulls. Sometimes we’ve blundered into various festivals, such as the year we were there the weekend of Pirate Fest. It was slightly mad with everyone dressed as a pirate, one man with an actual parrot on his shoulder, and the local golf cart rental place sporting a sign saying: “It’s all fun and games until someone needs an eyepatch.”
Funny, quirky, relaxing little Tybee Island.
While there, one night we chose a nearby outdoor restaurant for dinner. We were seated close by a large group having a loud, obnoxious, alcohol-infused good time. After the party left, we heard that one of the ladies at that table was a suspect in a local possible murder. Oh dear. Being close to that situation was shocking. The crime, the accusations, the guilt, or the innocence of the people involved, all of it is very far outside the sphere of everyday life.
What puts a person in such a situation? Is it childhood? Socio-economic issues? There is no one true answer but thinking about it made me, as we say in the South, “Grateful for my upbringing.’’
My sister, Judy, and I often talk about our childhood. As we share memories, we find differences. One sister might remember the event differently or add something the other sister didn’t know. We share mostly good memories, but sometimes we remember the bad ones. Differences appear there too. We were children, our brains weren’t fully developed, we didn’t have a complete understanding of what was happening, we may have misinterpreted a situation. In short, our memories reflect the age we were then.
There are misunderstood bad memories, but then there are truly bad memories – no one had a perfect childhood. Things happen. Events can be unfortunate or hurtful. What to do with these memories? One can hang on to the resentment, the anger; but by doing so you allow negativity into your thoughts and life. One can strive to recognize that whatever happened wasn’t good, but that you can attempt to forgive the person, the situation. Metaphorically speaking, you can put those memories on a shelf, try not to dwell on them, let that negativity go, and focus on the good things instead.
Understanding my memories more completely has helped me let go of many of the bad ones, letting in more good memories, giving me room to breathe. My parents, my family, gave me a good foundation and seeing my childhood through the eyes of an adult, makes my foundation even stronger.
The introduction from the old radio program, The Shadow, began with, “No One knows what lurks in the hearts of men.” We’ll never know why others do what they do. However, we do know what lurks in our hearts. We can look at our past with benevolence, understanding, or by not letting something negative interfere with our lives. As my sister and I talk more and more about our memories, I become more and more grateful for my parents, for my childhood, for my foundation. I’m truly grateful for my upbringing!
Enjoy four more photos from Tybee Island:
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Cindy Arp retired from Knox County Schools as a teacher and librarian. She and husband Dan live in Heiskell. And she goes hiking once a week – even in a forest fire.
